Mindful in 5 Podcast

Listen to Lead

• Spiwe Jefferson • Season 5 • Episode 150

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Discover how mastering the art of active listening can transform your leadership style and bolster team dynamics. Join me, Spiwa Jefferson, as we explore the "H.E.A.R." technique—Halt, Engage, Anticipate, and Reflect—designed to foster effective communication and mutual understanding in professional settings. This Veterans Day, we honor those who've served by committing to better, more mindful interactions at work.

In this episode, we'll discuss how embracing childlike qualities like trust, authenticity, creativity, resilience, and optimism can enhance your mindfulness practice. You'll learn how to approach each workday with a fresh perspective and an open heart, creating a supportive and joyful environment for everyone. Don't miss this chance to elevate your professional relationships and lead with empathy and clarity. Tune in to create a more peaceful and productive workspace today.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Mindful in 5, where busy professionals find your peaceful oasis to thrive in complex work environments. I am Spiwa Jefferson attorney, certified mindfulness practitioner and author of the Mindful in 5 book series, here to guide you to a clearer, softer and more supported life. Join me and your fellow Mindful Ninjas as we explore science-backed mindfulness strategies for successful leaders that you can implement, starting with just five minutes a day. Elevate your work, empower your life, work higher, live stronger. Let's go. Do you find your professional communications clouded, struggling to truly hear and connect with your colleagues in a peaceful, meaningful way? Poor listening skills can disrupt the joyful flow of workplace interactions, leaving your team feeling unsupported and disconnected from the cheerful spirit of collaboration.

Speaker 1:

Today, our topic is Listen to Lead Effective Communication. In honor of Veterans Day, we are exploring how to listen to lead, bringing a clearer, more supportive approach to workplace communication. And a big, big thank you to everybody who has ever served in the military. Thank you to all of our veterans for keeping us safer and for all the myriad sacrifices and to your families that you have to make in order to give of yourselves in this incredibly, incredibly important way. And if you're wondering about the cute kids in imagery, this season, we are embracing the beginner's mind by channeling childlike qualities. Well, think about kids. They are trusting, they are authentic, they are creative, they are resilient and they are optimistic. So these are the qualities that we want you to use to transform your mindfulness practice in daily life. Let our playful cover art inspire you to approach each day with fresh eyes and an open heart and, hopefully, a smile.

Speaker 1:

So back to our topic. Imagine engaging with your team with calm, focused attention, fostering a joyful atmosphere of mutual understanding and respect. By mastering the art of listening, you can transform your leadership style and create softer, more positive professional relationships. Let's explore a peaceful technique that I call here listening. Here's how it works. The H stands for halt, stop what you're doing, creating a clear and hopefully joyful space for attention. The E stands for engage, make eye contact, show positive presence and support.

Speaker 1:

The A stands for anticipate Listen to understand, not to respond with peaceful curiosity. One of the things that you know if you listen to people who do this. Well, the kinds of phrases that they use when they're listening to understand are things like they might say so, if I'm understanding you, what you're saying is. Or they might say you what you're saying is. Or they might say I'm not going to quote you exactly, but if I were to paraphrase the essence of what you're getting at, it is, but what they do is they listen and then, in their own words, they reframe the essence of what they heard so that they can make sure they understand. So that is what anticipate is. And this is a different kind of anticipate, because a lot of people will anticipate what they're going to say. So the whole time somebody's speaking, they're thinking about, they're formulating in their minds what they're going to say when it's their turn to speak. That is not the anticipating we are talking about here. This anticipating is lean into the conversation and respond with peaceful curiosity, ask questions, engage, understand better.

Speaker 1:

The R stands for reflect. The R stands for reflect, summarize what you've heard. No-transcript. Studies show that leaders who practice active listening techniques like this have more engaged teams and create a more peaceful, supportive work environment.

Speaker 1:

Now let me just pause here and say I like to define mindfulness as being present in the moment, without judgment and without being overwhelmed by what's happening around you. One of the toughest, toughest parts of this definition and these are just my words, but, generally speaking, any place that you see mindfulness defined, there's usually some element of non-judgment that is incorporated, and I think that is probably one of the most difficult things to not do is to judge. We judge everything. We wake up in the morning, we judge the weather, we judge how we feel, we judge how we slept, we judge our partner for leaving their stuff on the floor, we judge ourselves for having forgotten to do the dishes or do the laundry or whatever it is, and we certainly judge ourselves for our performance at work every day. And so, when you are thinking about your active listening techniques, don't beat yourself up if you are not at 100% all the time.

Speaker 1:

In fact, there was a Harvard study that demonstrated that most people are not even present 47% of the time when we are doing things. If you've ever put your keys down somewhere and had zero recollection of ever even having the keys, and meanwhile you're thinking well, the car is here and I'm home, so obviously I must have had the keys, that means that you were in your 47% zone. If you have ever driven somewhere and forgotten how you got there or, like me, you're driving down the street to the gym that you go to three, four times a week, and all of a sudden you look over and you see this building and you go when did that get there? And it's clear that it was not just constructed. It's been there the whole time. You just didn't notice. You were in your 47%.

Speaker 1:

So if you find that your active listening skills are not 100%, join the club. This happens to many, many of us and I think it's increased even in the world of Zoom meetings and virtual meetings, because we now have the luxury of not even being in the room with each other. And you know, I remember I had a boss once where if I was talking to her, if we had a one-on-one and she was reading, I could see it, I could see it, I could see it on her face, I could see her eyes tracking whatever she was reading and I knew she wasn't really listening to me, or maybe she was.

Speaker 1:

But she was clearly multitasking, and so people generally can tell if you're not listening to them, and so don't beat yourself up if you find that you're not that good at it, especially when you start paying attention to it. You're not that good at it especially when you start paying attention to it, but, like anything else, it is a skill that you can strengthen with practice over time. I like to give you some thought for the week that you can take away, and here's the one for this week. The one for this week. Leaders must tune in to the often subtle messages in their workplace with clear, joyful attention. There are some studies that demonstrate that as much as 90% of communication is nonverbal. So it's not just about listening to what is said, it is listening to what isn't said. It is listening to the spaces in between the words. It is listening to the silence. It is listening and watching the behavior that is following and accompanying the words and the silence to get the full message. Sometimes I hear so clearly the things that are not said, and if you pay attention, you too can hear clearly the things that are said, as well as the things that are not said and the things that are conveyed by body language. So listening takes your ears, your eyes, all of your senses. So here is your cheerful challenge for the week Practice here in at least one conversation each day. Now, mindful Angels, you know this.

Speaker 1:

Mindful in 5 is the idea that take Just five minutes, ideally at the beginning of your day, and five minute breaks throughout your day, to set your intentions in the morning and to reset and reclaim those intentions throughout the day, here listening. In the morning you can take five minutes to visualize yourself in a meeting that you know you have coming up. Visualize yourself practicing here listening, and before you start that meeting, take five minutes to reset to that intention, to go in there and practice here listening. Visualize someone specific that you know is going to speak and see yourself practicing that listening technique. You are much more likely to be successful at it if you can envision it first. Right, I like to say first we think, then we do, then we become. First you visualize yourself being a hear listener, then you actually practice being a here listener and then over time you will find that you have become a better listener. So just pick one conversation each day, not all the conversations, just one and hopefully notice how it brings a softer, more supportive energy to your interactions. And oh, by the way, this is somewhere around the 150th episode of Mindful in 5. I tend to track I tend not to track those numbers because sometimes I move things around, but this is probably in that area so send me a text.

Speaker 1:

Let me know how you are getting along with the format for the podcasts that we are doing this season. Are you finding that they are in fact elevating your work and empowering your life? Are they helping, yes or no? I'm going to be without judgment in whatever you say. There should be a text link at the beginning of the notes for each podcast. Send me a text about this or any of them, and let me know how you feel things are going for you and how these episodes are hitting you.

Speaker 1:

If you are ready to elevate your skills and create more joyful, clear connections, I invite you to visit the downloadable section of spewageeffersoncom. You can find a link in the notes for this podcast. You will find there a growing library of downloadable blueprints. These are paid blueprints that you can download and they will provide you 20 to 30 day exercises that you can use to dig into a particular aspect of your leadership and hopefully, at the end of your 20 work days, or your 30 days total, you will have the beginnings of a habit that you can lean into and grow.

Speaker 1:

There are free overviews for the downloadables that you can also enjoy if you want to get a sense for what's in a downloadable. Anyway, the downloadables are called, the paid ones are called blueprints, and there is an overview for every blueprint so that you know what you're going to be able to do and what you're getting before you get into it. Finally, remember effective listening is a cornerstone of great leadership. By honing this skill with peaceful intention, you honor the spirit of service we celebrate on Veterans Day and create a more joyful, supportive work environment. May your leadership be guided by clear, joyful listening Until next week. This is Spiwe saying be mindful and be well.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for listening to Mindful in 5. If you enjoyed it, share it with a friend, follow and rate it on your favorite podcast platform. Pick up your signed copy of the book and journal from spiwayjeffersoncom, or unsigned copies from Amazon, barnes, noble or wherever you get your books. Visit spewayjeffersoncom to download sample chapters of the book, watch videos and become a mindful ninja. Join us on the LinkedIn Mindful in 5 group and share your thoughts. Until next time, be mindful and be well.