Mindful in 5 Podcast

When the Unexpected Happens

• Spiwe Jefferson • Season 5 • Episode 159

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After battling a viral infection that took a toll on my voice, I realized that my experience was a small example of what is happening in the broader world around us; what happens when all that excitement and optimism of New Years' Eve is almost immediately dowsed by illness, job loss, attacks, and fires?

If this is you, join us for three specific strategies and coping suggestions. We'll dive into the art of resilience by categorizing stressors, drawing strength from our past, and embracing gratitude. 

Whether it's a pandemic or personal setbacks, there's wisdom in reflecting on divine support, which can offer a grounding hope for those who seek it. Together, let's uncover the tools to remain present and resilient, reminding ourselves of our inherent ability to overcome life's challenges.

Ever felt overwhelmed by fear or anxiety in the face of life's unpredictable turns? I understand the feeling, especially after facing an active shooter incident. In this episode of Mindful in 5, I introduce a simple yet profound mantra that you can apply in highly stressful situations that you can't control. 

There is a path to help manage those overwhelming emotions. Open your heart and mind as we uncover the strength within to navigate uncertainties and embrace the present moment with resilience and courage. Fine greater peace, clarity and feel softer and supported in how you bounch back from setbacks and remain optimistic in 2025.


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Spiwe Jefferson:

Welcome to Mindful in 5, where busy professionals find your peaceful oasis to thrive in complex work environments. I am Spiwe Jefferson attorney, certified mindfulness practitioner and author of the Mindful in 5 book series, here to guide you to a clearer, softer and more supported life. Join me and your fellow Mindful Ninjas as we explore science-backed mindfulness strategies for successful leaders that you can implement, starting with just five minutes a day. Elevate your work, empower your life, work higher, live stronger. Let's go! Today we're talking about something that's particularly meaningful, not just to me, but many of us right now how to navigate life when the unexpected happens. So here's my true story. I almost did not record this episode. You can hear that there is something up with my voice. You can hear that there is something up with my voice. Well, I have been dealing with a viral infection that has taken away half of my vocal range and kept me homebound the better half of last week, but then I realized this is exactly what we need to talk about how do we stay anchored when life throws us curveballs? Maybe you are one of the millions of people, myself included, who started 2025 full of enthusiasm, with clear intentions and beautiful plans. Then, suddenly, the tragic events in New Orleans unfolded before the first sunrise of 2025. And then devastating fires erupted in California and friends, family people we know may have lost their homes and entire neighborhoods. Or perhaps something even closer to home happened to you, like an unexpected job loss, the loss of a loved one, or an unexpected health challenge. These moments can feel overwhelming and they particularly sting when they eviscerate and completely wipe out or overshadow the joy and optimism we felt on New Year's Eve. Today we are unpacking the things we can do to be realistic about what's happening, but yet bounce back from setbacks when the unexpected occurs. And actually you'll notice in the notes for this podcast, at the very top, there is a complimentary overview for you. It is one of my blueprints that I started working on last year and this particular one is on bouncing back from setbacks and it gives you an overview of the full program that is available at spewajeffersoncom.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Let's dive into our topic. As a starting point, it is easier to handle stressful situations if we can put language to them. One way to start doing that is to categorize and label things that cause us stress. So in this case, I like to categorize the causes of disappointment, stress, whatever you want to call it into three buckets Number one, things that are happening to you. Number two, things that hit close to home. And number three, things that are happening in culture or out there. Three things that are happening in culture or out there. First, let's talk about when something is happening directly to you, like my current health situation. The first step is just to acknowledge it, because you can't address what you do not acknowledge. So I acknowledge that I am sick and I also acknowledge the emotions that I have about the situation.

Spiwe Jefferson:

I don't, you know, I don't get sick often and I don't like it. I don't know anybody who likes being sick. I don't like having to miss activities, having to miss work and stay home. Well, you know, staying home is actually not that bad, but I don't like having to do it because I'm sick. This sucks, I don't like it.

Spiwe Jefferson:

At the same time, I have been making adjustments. I've been drinking lots of fluids. I have monitored my condition, gave myself lots of space for rest, stayed home in case I was contagious. For rest. Stayed home in case I was contagious and because I wasn't feeling as energetic as usual and I seemed to be getting worse. After about a week I took medicine to help me sleep at night, and when it didn't resolve, I went to urgent care and got a formal diagnosis. So I have been actively monitoring and managing this condition and taking what action I can control.

Spiwe Jefferson:

At the same time, I've been finding reasons for gratitude. I am grateful that it's not COVID. I am grateful that, except for my sore throat and cough, the rest of my body is actually functioning just fine. I am grateful that I was able to perform all of the sort of core basic tasks that I needed to last week in terms of working and taking care of my family. I am grateful that my boss, who is the CEO of my organization, and my senior leadership team were all so supportive. We have the kind of culture where I didn't even think twice about saying hey, I'm not feeling well, therefore I'm going to stay home because I'm concerned that I might be infectious, which it turned out I was, and there was great support. And my boss said to me you know, I want you. More than once he said this I want to make sure that you are getting rest, and so I am grateful because I know that not everybody has the privilege of working in an environment that is that supportive. And so these are all the reasons that I found for gratitude. My family was incredibly supportive. I have different groups of my sort of wider village of sisters my link sisters, my Delta sisters, my GC sisters and, to the extent that I let people know, especially when I wasn't able to show up for things or do certain things, nothing but support to embrace a mindset of resilience.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Remember, you have overcome challenges before. Think about how you navigated past difficulties. We have all lived through COVID and if you are within the sound of my voice right now through COVID, and if you are within the sound of my voice right now, you found ways to cope and emerge, hopefully, stronger. So trust in your inherent ability to rise above and transform. For my fellow God lovers, reflect on how God has sustained you through previous trials, you through previous trials. Let that awareness ground you in hope. Stay present with what is, rather than getting lost in what could have been or what you're worried might be.

Spiwe Jefferson:

I find that most of us God lovers have had what I call the Red Sea moment, where you had your back against the wall. You had the Red Sea on one side, you had Pharaoh's army bearing down on the other side and you had no idea how you were going to get through it. And then God showed up, parted the Red Sea, delayed Pharaoh's army and, all of a sudden, there you were, walking safely on dry land, singing praises, because you never expected that you would be saved in this way. People who are not God lovers, I am sure you've had situations like that. Maybe you call it coincidence, maybe you call it luck, maybe you call it providence, maybe you call it the universe. Whatever it is, but think back to those times when you thought man, my goose is cooked, I am sunk. There's no way that I see myself getting out of this horrible situation. And then suddenly the door opened and a new opportunity or a new escape hatch just became available and you were able to find your way off to a safer place. So all of us have had times in our past especially if you've lived for any reasonable number of years where that has happened to you. So go back and remember that you have been through pickles before and you have survived, and you will certainly survive again. So now let's go to the second scenario, when challenges are hitting close to home. Maybe it's affecting your community or your loved ones.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Here is where we practice discernment. Focus on what you can control and intentionally release what you cannot. Your energy is precious. Direct it where it can make a real difference. God lovers, you can always pray. Start there, because there is such power in prayer, and then do what you can. Um, maybe you can take somebody in if you've got a family member who has been displaced. Maybe you can volunteer your time to help. Maybe you can volunteer, you can give money to a cause that is providing aid and support to people who have been impacted by a particular disaster. These are examples, but look around and see what you can control, what can you do and do that. And finally, when difficulties are happening in the broader world like, let's say, the recent tragic events that we have witnessed don't actually impact you personally. Still help where you can, but don't let it diminish your light. It is possible to stay informed and compassionate without getting consumed by the collective heaviness. Create boundaries around media consumption. Choose specific ways to contribute in a meaningful way while protecting your peace, and sometimes you know part of what can give you peace is just knowing that you have done something to help, even in a small way, but to help whatever the situation is that is going on and you know, remember these practical steps for staying centered Pause and breathe deeply. When you are feeling overwhelmed, ground yourself in the present moment.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Some of you know that I actually did get COVID during that period when it was rampant. And not only did I get COVID, but my mom got COVID and she passed away, and my uncle got COVID, who was like a father to me, and he passed away. But at the time, for all of the time when COVID was happening around us and we didn't have it, I just remember I had a mantra that was especially helpful and it was in this moment, I am fine. And then I looked at what around me can I control? To reduce the overwhelm and the sense of fear, I turned off. Some of you may remember that all the news channels had these red ticker symbols and they were counting up how many people had died every second. And in our house we intentionally turned off those because they did nothing but frighten us and there was nothing we could do about it. So we turned them off and that created a sense of normalcy in our house. We were also intentional about how much we consumed news and we intentionally did not run around doom scrolling because that just frightens you but there's nothing you can actually do about it in the moment, and so that was very helpful. I will also tell you that that mantra in this moment I am fine was applicable in all kinds of other situations.

Spiwe Jefferson:

You might remember some of you that two years ago there was an active shooter shutdown at the Mall of America, the largest indoor mall in the United States, and I happened to get there half an hour before the lockdown and so active shooters on the loose and there was actually a fatality that night, and we were ushered into the storeroom in the back of the store where I was, and it just happened to be a store where I was shopping for my daughters and I kind of felt like, oh my gosh, this is the worst place to be, because these kids look like they're, like you know, 15 that are manning this store. But there we were, in the back of the store, hiding from the active shooter. All the lights were turned off, all of the doors for all of the stores came down and they were locked. So we're locked into the store, hiding in the back in the storeroom, and I just remember repeating, I was looking around at, you know, my fellow sardines who were packed in with me and just thinking, yes, there is an active shooter out there, yes, it sounds bad, yes, I can hear the EMTs and the police and the security guards like running by the store and shouting and yelling and all of the stuff happening out there. But in this moment I am fine, in this moment we are fine and we were.

Spiwe Jefferson:

And so bringing yourself back to the present moment really works, and it helped to keep me anchored. It helped to stop me from panicking because in the moment I was fine. And so what I did? I texted my family and I posted some things on social to say so you know, this is what's happening right now, this is where I am and this is who I'm with and that's how I got through it. And so, remember, these practical steps really do help when you need to bring yourself to that present moment.

Spiwe Jefferson:

So, as you're thinking about the things that might have disappointed you as we are coming into this new year, ask yourself which bucket does this challenge fall into? Is it bucket one, something that's happening to me? Is it bucket two, something that hit close to home? Or is it bucket three, something that's happening out there, or is it, something that hasn't even happened but that I'm worried about, and, especially in that case, bring yourself back to the present moment, because all the things that you're worried about that may or may not happen may or may not happen, and, at the end of the day, if it does happen, worrying about it would not have changed it anyway, unless it was something that you could directly control.

Spiwe Jefferson:

The other thing that I encourage you to do is practice self-compassion. Your feelings are valid, and so don't run away from them, and don't take this to mean that I'm saying that you shouldn't be frightened, stressed, worried. Your feelings are valid, but they don't have to direct your path. Just because you feel something doesn't make it true. Do not allow your emotions to detract, derail or diminish your light and the precious life that you have to live.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Connect with your support system. Shared experiences with trusted friends or family members or members of your extended circle can reduce and lighten the burden that you have to carry. God lovers, release your cares to the one who loves you most, because he has already said that he loves you and that's why he's there. Well, that's part of the reason why he's there. Take small, intentional steps forward. Even tiny actions build momentum towards your goals. So if all you do today is just say, every time I start to feel stressed about blah, blah, blah, I'm just going to bring myself to the present moment and I'm going to have a mantra either in this moment I am fine or something, whatever your version of that mantra is. Even if that's all you do, that's enough, because those kinds of tiny actions can build momentum that carries you forward in a place of greater peace and calm and clarity a place of greater peace and calm and clarity. So, in conclusion, don't let unexpected events steal the joy and the potential of this year. You have the inner wisdom and strength to navigate whatever arises. We are all learning to dance with the uncertainty while keeping our hearts open to possibility.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Before we close, I invite you again to download our free resource, the Bounce Back from Setbacks overview. You will find the link at the top of our show notes. It is filled with an overview of the practical strategies that you will find in the Bounce Back from Setbacks Blueprint, which is available either in the shop on spiwejefferson. com or it is available in the downloadable section of the website. Thank you for spending this time with me. Come back for a rousing episode that reignites our joy in the new year, when I expect to have my voice back. Stay present, stay peaceful and remember you are more resilient than you know.