Mindful in 5 Podcast

Networking for Introverts

• Spiwe Jefferson • Season 5 • Episode 164

Share episode

See how Brianna applied these strategies in Mindful in 5!

Networking doesn’t have to be stressful, even for introverts. With the right mindset and practical strategies, you can transform those dreaded awkward interactions into meaningful connections that open new doors in your career. In this episode, I’ll walk you through the "Three Breath Connection" technique —a simple yet powerful way to calm your nerves and help you network with confidence. Tune in for tips on how to start conversations, choose engaging topics, and make your next networking event a success!


More Links and Resources

Spiwe Jefferson:

Welcome to Mindful in 5, where busy professionals find your peaceful oasis to thrive in complex work environments. I am Spiwe Jefferson attorney, certified mindfulness practitioner and author of the Mindful in 5 book series. Here to guide you to a clearer, softer and more supported life. Join me and your fellow mindful ninjas as we explore science-backed mindfulness strategies for successful leaders that you can implement, starting with just five minutes a day. Elevate your work, empower your life, work higher, live stronger. Let's go.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Do you dread networking? You go to a conference or a mixer, maybe because you should or because you're interested in a topic that will be discussed. Maybe your avoidance approach is to arrive just as the formal program is starting, so you don't have to stand around feeling like a total idiot, standing there all by yourself, mind clouded, feeling awkward and disconnected from the joyful connections everyone else seems to be experiencing around you. If this sounds like you, you are not alone. Poor networking skills can dim the cheerful light of professional growth, leaving you feeling unsupported and isolated in a room or even in your industry. Today we are unpacking networking for introverts, bringing a clearer, more peaceful approach to building professional relationships. More peaceful approach to building professional relationships and, like the kids in this season's imagery. I invite you to come at it with a beginner's mind Curious, trusting, authentic, creative, resilient and optimistic, even if you have had multiple experiences when you have felt like you've failed miserably at this whole networking thing. Today's a new day and as long as there is breath in your body, there's an opportunity to try, try, try again. After all, even if you totally bombed it the last time, you're still here. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? So here's what I suggest Take five minutes to visualize first thing in the morning and five minutes before you go into a networking situation. Imagine yourself entering the upcoming networking situation with calm confidence, creating genuine connections that joyfully enrich your career. By cultivating presence in your interactions, you can transform networking from a dreaded task to a fulfilling opportunity for clear growth and cheerful exchange.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Let's explore a soothing technique I call the three-breath connection. Here is how this process works. Here is how this process works. Step one before engaging, take three deep breaths, centering yourself with gentle focus. So there you are, outside the room where this event is happening.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Pause On the first breath. Bring yourself fully into the present moment with joyful awareness. You can say something like if you're thinking well, you know, joyful awareness is certainly what I'm not going to be feeling. Try thinking about it like this. Try changing your got-to language to get-to language. Here's what I mean. Instead of saying, oh, I got to go in here and do this networking thing, it's going to suck, you can say, wow, I get the opportunity to go in here and meet these amazing people, I get to go listen to a really interesting speaker, I get to have an opportunity to fill in the blanks, right? So that is how you can change and start to pivot from dread to confidence pleasant, joyful anticipation. On your second breath, set a clear, positive intention for the interaction. On your third breath, open yourself up to listening and connecting with cheerful curiosity. Overcoming networking fears as an introvert requires leveraging your natural strengths while adopting practical strategies to manage anxiety.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Here is an example of how the entire process might look. Meet Brianna Patterson, elementary school teacher, who spends most of her time with kids In the Mindful in 5 book. She is invited to address a huge audience, so let's imagine that there is a networking function before or after her address. At the beginning of that day, Brianna spent at least five minutes visualizing how she would interact at the conference. How we feel inside is often inconsistent with how we appear. In other words, you might look quite confident even when you don't feel it. So, regardless of how unpracticed Brianna feels at networking, she sees herself in her five-minute visualization smiling openly, talking with confidence and gliding around the room like she owns the place. And why not? It's much more likely to happen that way if she programs her mindset in the path of success right Now.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Before she enters the room, she runs to the restroom, she closes herself in a stall and she closes her eyes. When she takes those deep breaths, she regenerates that mental vision she had this morning, centering herself with gentle focus. Centering herself with gentle focus why do it twice? Because it wasn't nearly as scary this morning. Now that the time is upon her, it's more intimidating, but it's easier to see herself successfully networking because she created the vision before the stress took over. She created the vision before the stress took over. So now Brianna sees herself exuding friendship and goodwill. I like to say you attract what you reflect, because that is the energy she gives off and that, therefore, is the energy she is much more likely to get back Now.

Spiwe Jefferson:

You might have noticed that, instead of standing outside the room and taking her three deep breaths. Brianna raced to the restroom instead. Why? Because that way, in the privacy of her solitude, she can just quietly focus on her vision without somebody walking by and making her feel embarrassed or bumping into her or starting a conversation before she's ready. So this is something that you can do. So this is something that you can do If you can't find a place for solitude. If you drove to the place, you can take that five minutes in your car before you get out. If you took public transportation, you can sit in that subway car or on that bus and you can quietly close your eyes for five minutes and do this exercise. Okay, so now that Brianna is seeing herself doing the very thing she wants, she sets the second step, which is setting a clear, positive intention that this is how her interactions will go. She intentionally chooses this outcome for herself, chooses this outcome for herself. Then she takes a third step, which is shifting her mindset from avoidance to curiosity.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Introverts often enter networking scenarios focused on avoiding awkwardness. Instead, brianna reframes her goal. She wants to learn about others rather than impress them. To overcome her nerves, she sets a micro goal to ask three people about their work or their interests, for example, what is the most exciting project you're working on right now? Asking someone a question like that, they might talk forever about whatever they're excited about.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Introverts tend to prefer listening and they tend to be quite good at it. So asking open-ended questions that can spark a flame in the other person can reduce the talking that you have to do. Being genuinely interested in the person you're talking to can also build deeper connections and reduce the pressure to perform. Then it turns into a give and take conversation where you're asking follow-up questions and you're sharing your own experiences and insights. So, to that point, having two to three open-ended topics in your mind will allow you to start a conversation, even if you feel like you're not a great conversationalist.

Spiwe Jefferson:

You can even start by doing something as simple as complimenting someone on some aspect that you notice, or, if it's a speaker, on something they said that spoke to you, or if you know who you're going to meet. You can even set an intention to meet some specific people at the event, look up their accomplishments or something they've done lately and when you see them, talk to them about that thing they did recently whether you saw it on LinkedIn or on their profile, on their company website or someplace else. Industry trends or event-specific topics are also fair game to steer the conversations towards a meaningful exchange. Now the next tip might sound counterintuitive, but Brianna also arrived early so that she could target some solo attendees some solo attendees. Larger groups can overwhelm introverts. So arriving early allows you to ease into the environment and then you'll be one of those people who's already engaged in happy conversation when other people walk into the room.

Spiwe Jefferson:

Now, once you get there, look for others standing alone. They are often relieved when someone initiates conversation. If you are the one standing alone, pay attention to your body language. Don't cross your arms or scowl. Don't go hide in the corner. Consider an open posture chest out, hands by your sides or holding a beverage you can even go get a beverage, just so you have something to do with your hands and put a half smile on your face and look approachable. Why does this work? Because when you are looking for someone to talk, to think about it, are you more likely to approach someone who looks like they're mad and don't want to be there, or are you more likely to approach someone who looks less intimidating? So that is why you want to look less intimidating and then, just as you have your conversation starters, prepare your exit strategies. I personally am quite bad about this, because I talk a lot and then I get all wrapped up in a conversation and before you know it I look around and everybody has left except me and the two or three other people who are engaged in a conversation. So this is something that I'm going to be trying myself as I network this year. You can say something light, like I'd love to keep chatting, but we should probably both network with a few more people before we lose momentum and off you go.

Spiwe Jefferson:

By combining mindset shifts, strategic timing and prepared talking points, introverts can transform networking from a dreaded task into an opportunity for authentic connection. Research shows that this type of mindful preparation can significantly improve the quality of our interactions. Mindful preparation can significantly improve the quality of our interactions, fostering more meaningful and supportive professional relationships. Having a clear strategy and purpose can also reduce the fear factor. Consider this Networking isn't about collecting contacts. It's about cultivating joyful relationships. Your peaceful presence is the clear foundation for authentic connections. And to that end, here is your cheerful challenge for the week Use the three breath connection technique and visualize your path forward before your next professional interaction.

Spiwe Jefferson:

And, just so it's clear, the whole three breath thing. There's actually no magic in taking the three breaths, so don't hold your breath and suffocate yourself while you're trying to visualize everything in this one single breath. It is just a reminder that taking those breaths allows you to. Well, it makes it easier for you to center yourself and just bring yourself to the present moment, especially if you have started to create a centering habit. This is one of the ways that you can easily reconnect and go within and find that space to do this creative visualization as you are getting ready for that networking event. So use the technique and visualize your path forward. So use the technique and visualize your path forward. My hope is that these strategies reduce the fear factor and bring a softer, more supported energy to your conversations.

Spiwe Jefferson:

In the Mindful in 5 books, brianna and her husband Rashad are new empty nesters after their twins went off to college, and challenges abound in their relationship. Pick up your copy of either the Mindful and Fight book and journal or the God Lovers edition and journal from https://www. spiwejefferson. com/ and use the learnings from Brianna's journey through her dark dawn and day season to fuel your own mindfulness success. Click the link in the show notes to pick up your copy and start setting yourself up for a clearer, more joyful networking experience. Remember, effective networking is about quality, not quantity. You don't need to talk to everyone. If you make two to four connections, depending on the length of the event, that could be more than enough. By bringing your full joyful presence to each interaction, you are creating the foundation for clear, meaningful and mutually supportive professional relationships. May your networking be filled with peaceful presence and joyful connections Until next week. This is Spiwe saying, be mindful and be well.

James@DiscovertheVoice:

Thank you for listening to Mindful in 5. If you enjoyed it, share it with a friend, follow and rate it on your favorite podcast platform. Pick up your signed copy of the book and journal from , or unsigned copies from Amazon, Barnes and N oble or wherever you get your books. Visit https://www. spiwejefferson. com/ to download sample chapters of the book, watch videos and become a mindful ninja. Join us on the LinkedIn Mindful in 5 group and share your thoughts. Until next time, be mindful and be well.